Can You Evolve and Still Optimize?
I don’t know what I am doing, or who I am doing it for? Through this blog, I’ve been able to gain new insights and perspectives. Appreciating the awakening, but a bit overwhelmed by the thought of consistency needed to prevail. Trying to figure out if I’m doing this for myself or in efforts to strengthen my faith and align myself to allowing God to increase while I decrease. Nothing should be done for my personal gain, especially because I’ve come to accept my life was created through sacrifice of Gods only son. I don’t want to be selfish, nor am I looking for fame… I just want to do what God is asking of me.
Working Smarter with What You’re Becoming
When becoming confident in the core of who you are, it’s best to audit with yourself regularly. Ask “Is this still serving me?” True confidence doesn’t come from always knowing, it comes from checking in with yourself often enough to stay rooted. A regular rhythm of reflection keeps your interest in growing intentional and your voice magnetic!
Audit the Heart, Align the Path
- What has God been trying to show me in this season?
- Where do I feel friction and what truth am I avoiding?
- Am I spending time in ways that reflect my purpose?
- What am I still carrying that God told me to lay down?
- Where do I need to offer myself more grace?
Optimizing Supports Evolution
The golden truth is that after self-actualization you are able to recalibrate and make sure that all actions are pointing you in the right direction. In my experience, it’s like once you’ve been able to find that clarity, you’re able to course correct with purpose instead of panic. You’re no longer searching blindly, you’re aware of the ride.
My current career is teaching. If you know any teachers or are one yourself, you understand the daily struggles of committing yourself to a career such as this. It is one that spills into your personal life, through time, tasks and emotions. It can sometimes be a constant battle between believing you’re fit for the job and recognizing you may just be a highly qualified babysitter who teaches on the side. I say this to say, my first year of teaching was right after covid. I applied for a 1st grade position at an elementary school; was super excited for my interview to be told in the end I was hired for a 3rd grade teaching position.
Due to covid, my degree was finished online. I had experience from being a special needs counselor and a preschool teacher but through the pandemic I tried to find every route that would replace teaching as a whole. Unbeknownst to me, teaching was going to be a part of my legacy whether I liked it or not. Midway through the year 2021-2022 school year I quit. I was in a place mentally where I felt that with the lack of resources at the school and the students being so low academically there was absolutely no way I’d be the one to get them passed the finish line.
Through this, I learned two things about myself… I was a bit impulsive, and I simply didn’t acknowledge my impact. God chose me at that moment to be a part of those kids lives; I pray they were able to move on and hopefully one day can understand it was harder for me than I even wanted to express. Of course, in my disobedience I experienced major setbacks. I had rent due every month on the first but couldn’t pay it. No money to put food in the fridge, and no desire to start exploring new options for income.
God offered me destiny’s helpers, like my friends Chrystal and Ronda. Ronda would call me and tell me if you can get over here, I’ll take you to get some groceries. She would stock my fridge up, give me words of encouragement and provide me genuine love.
Chrystal lived in Orlando and was a teacher herself. She experienced the whole “quitting the job” season, and it was like God prepared her in her season, so she’d be able to resonate with me in mine. My friend came into town, drove me to a job interview in BFE which she stated was absolutely insane for me to be interviewing for.. she was right because there was no way I was driving and hour to work LOL! She gave me money to renew my tag; some emotional support and we had Wingstop and laughed the day away. On the commute to Wingstop, yapping as we do.. she took the wrong turn, and it directed us to a Charter School. All because of her I was able to bag a job that was walking distance from my house with benefits and the whole 9.
Life was starting to make sense but in no way shape or form was I showing gratitude towards the breakthrough I was experiencing. I just didn’t want to teach; I didn’t want the workload or the responsibility. But this new job offered me an opportunity to grow, to redeem myself and strive in what God called me to do. Giving up was not going to work for this season. Unfortunately, sometimes in life you have to do the things you don’t want to do to get to exactly what is meant for you.
Let Go of Outdated Methods
This season of redemption called for a new, more mature version of myself. I was hired as a Kindergarten teacher at a school with no media center and no actual time or space to process the day during a break. Wow it was a mess, but I went in hopeful and ready to rise to the occasion.
I was placed on a team with 3 Caribbean women and one African American woman, all different ages but they became like sisters to me. Once I was able to drop the hard exterior, I was able to become vulnerable with them. God gave me an opportunity to be surrounded by his daughters. Older women, who in fact went through things and gave me a newfound hope for friendship and what it’s like to trust after going through friendship hurt in a girl group. I worked with them for two years; we got so close that we even orchestrated a cruise. Like who does that! The other teams were like “You all are really close, we love to see how you all have one another’s back”. To see what other people saw in our bond was not only affirming but cultivated a sense of safety in me. After a year of living alone and 45 mins from family, it was nice to know I had them.
My students were extraordinary! Every one of them I met made me feel seen, valued and loved! What a blessing it is to teach students, and not only experience their academic growth but their personal growth. Seeing them build friendships and hold genuine morals was commendable, but to know I was a part of that evolution was so satisfying. Teaching little 5-year-olds reaffirmed my desire to have children and also influenced me to want to do my job right! Seeing them grow from students who only knew their alphabets to students who could read, write sentences and express themselves fluently was an overwhelming experience.
During this time, I was getting paid as a substitute teacher. So, although I was now able to find things to be grateful for, a part of me still wasn’t satisfied because I couldn’t survive. I now realize it was my lack of faith and my non avoidant relationship with Christ that caused me to fumble my stability. But nobody knew, so I showed up to work gave my all and trusted in “the universe”.
The 2024-2025 school year I was provided the opportunity to become the art teacher at the school. Though I had to leave my team, I was ready for something new. I finally received my teaching certificate, and I was ready to leave a lasting impression not only on my peers but also my students. Baby, I exceeded my own expectations. In the beginning of this school year, I was baptized and surrendered my life to Christ. I was actually for the first time riding the wave and truly giving my all.
When What Worked Stops Working: The Nudge to Shift
I was absolutely on fire! Making new connections, singing through the halls and hitting milestones that warranted better supplies for my students. My job in this season was to provide new experiences and change that influenced others to be more dedicated to their duties at hand.
God will let it work, until it doesn’t. I got to January in the school year and recognized that although everything was admirable for me it just wasn’t enough. I had a moment where I sat still at home asking, “what more can I do?” And that is when God spoke to me and directed me to start packing up my stuff. Change was coming and I so wish that I took his voice as an opportunity to begin preparing while tying up loose ends.
Of course, I ended the school year with a bang! The students were already asking what to look forward to for next year. But something shifted in me, and in that reflective moment I took note of the fact that my purpose in this facility may have been fulfilled. I unlocked a level in myself that encouraged me to see what I am capable of, how my strengths influence those around me. How my urgency to make a difference is valued and easily accepted in the right rooms. This type of strength and work can go beyond a classroom if used correctly.
The Pivot Point Towards Purposeful Living
As I said before, I don’t know if I’m doing this right. Really, I don’t even know where I’m going. Being the Art teacher, highlighted the inner child in me. It shined a light on the things I loved before having a 9-5 was the only way to survive. I began creating again, I even wrote a book. With all these big dreams, I began to see that still giving 110% to this one job would not allow me the opportunity to pour into my soul’s purpose.
Who am I, if I am not living here on Earth pursuing what God destined me for?
If you’ve felt the nudge — the whisper that there’s more to you than what you’re currently doing — this is your moment to pause and listen.
Ask yourself: What parts of me have I silenced just to survive? What dreams still knock, waiting to be invited in?
You don’t need to know exactly where you’re going. You just need to trust that the pivot toward purpose will meet you with grace, clarity, and provision.
Start here:
- Block off one hour this week just for you — to create, reflect, or rest.
- Write down one small action that brings you closer to what you were born to do.
- Say it out loud: I am still becoming, and that’s more than enough.
This journey is far from over… But now I walk it awake! If you’ve made it this far, I pray something in these words has stirred something in you. Don’t be rigid in your process, and don’t hesitate to move — ask God for guidance, and trust that He will make room.
Your voice matters here! Drop a comment even if it’s just a “me too”.
